DMX Has Never Heard of Google or Barack Obama

dmx google

I made fun of DMX on this website a long time ago, but I figured it was time to do it again because it’s so goddamn easy.

I have a senile old man in one of the classes I’m taking at a community college and he regularly asks unbelievably stupid questions about how to work the computer and the internet and he’s never satisfied with an obvious answer like “you’re not connected to the internet,” or “computers aren’t voice activated.” He wont let me videotape him and put it online, but if you want to know the hell I go through every Thursday from 5:30 until 8:15, watch DMX fail at using Google, which has been known to the world since I was 8:

I know I don’t follow politics as closely as I should. Luckily, it’s all just a huge joke anyways. The NFL refs are getting more action in the news and the presidential election is in a month and a half, does that give you any idea how little anyone cares? This deduction must mean I am not the only one who realizes how inane it all is.

If there’s anything easier than making fun of politics, its making fun of DMX, and if there’s anything easier than making fun of DMX, it’s making fun of white people trying to do a DMX voice:

I guess the important thing to remember is that DMX makes hardcore rap music, and outside of that he is a monkey with no real life capabilities.

Transcript of Interview:

XXL:Are you following the presidential race?
DMX : Not at all.

XXL:You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.

DMX :His name is Barack?!

XXL:Barack Obama, yeah.

DMX :Barack?!

XXL:Barack.

DMX :What the f-ck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

XXL:Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.

DMX :Barack Obama?

XXL:Yeah.

DMX :What the f-ck?! That ain’t no f-ckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that n-gga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the f-ck outta here.

XXL:You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.

DMX :I ain’t really paying much attention.

XXL:I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…

DMX :Wow, Barack! The n-gga’s name is Barack. Barack? N-gga named Barack Obama. What the f-ck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his f-ckin’ name. Ima tell this n-gga when I see him, “Stop that bullsh-t. Stop that bullsh-t” [laughs] “That ain’t your f-ckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

XXL: So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
DMX: Nope.

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