Due To Voter Outrage, The Grammys Have Made Some Adjustments

LOL @ other people submitting themselves for grammys

There have been some last minute adjustments in the nominations for the 54th annual Grammy awards. The voters came forward and said:

We overlooked some serious artists who should have been nominated for the awards, and it’s unheard of for this award to be linked to any kind of popularity contests…we must keep our award prestigious…

– Jeremiah Jobling

Let’s stop fucking around, have you seen these nominations for the Grammys?! Everyone should just go home, because then at least somebody wins. Me. I don’t want this garbage on T.V.

Instead of telling you all 900 switches and changes, I figured I’d just go over the additions people actually care about:

Record of the Year: Camp (Childish Gambino)
Song of the year: Freaks and Geeks (Childish Gambino)
Best Rock Song: Heartbeat (Childish Gambino)
Best Rap Performance: Break (Childish Gambino)
Best Rap Song: Bonfire (Childish Gambino)
Best Rap Album: EP (Childish Gambino)
Best Country Song: Be Alone (Childish Gambino)
Best Contemporary Christian Music Song: Not Going Back (Childish Gambino)

You get it…

Bruno Mars might win a Grammy for that entire album he took a shit all over. He has SIX nominations. SIX! How is nobody trying to burn down wherever they’re holding these shitty awards so he wont have a chance to step foot in another recording studio? Meanwhile, NOBODY is talking about how kick ass Childish Gambino is.

Shit, Kanye has seven nominations. I like Kanye, but he is not that good anymore. He peaked with his debut album and got close with Graduation, but since then, unless it’s remixed, I can’t stand him. Childish Gambino did as good a job with “All of the Lights” (Break) than Kanye’s ass. Have you seen Ye’s music video? Unless you’re a baked 13 year old, it’s pretty unbearable to watch.

Let’s start accepting some fact. The Grammys are pointless and meaningless awards. I’ll quote the lead singer of Tool:

I think the Grammys are nothing more than some gigantic promotional machine for the music industry. They cater to a low intellect and they feed the masses. They don’t honor the arts or the artist for what he created. It’s the music business celebrating itself. That’s basically what it’s all about.

Man, Tool is just as awesome as I remember. They never went up and accepted their award when they went because none of them even wanted to attend the ceremony. SICK!

If you need more proof that it is a throw away trophy, let’s ask Bono:

It was all there: anger, love, forgiveness, family, community and the deepest sense of history… Here was the full power of American music challenging my arrogance. I watched the rest of the show with new eyes. The Grammys invited jazz, country, rock, soul and classical into the same hall. No regard for demographic studies of what would deliver ratings, no radio call-out research—a mad amalgam of the profound and the absurd and the creeping realisation that one man’s Mozart is another man’s Vegas.

He used to hate the award, but he changed his mind after he started winning them or something.

It’s weird that Bono is a pretentious dick about something.

– Nobody took the time to think or say.

Let’s just face the facts. The Grammys are just as stupid as the people who are going to win them. They’re a popularity contest and the people who make the most money that year are the ones that win. I wont be watching the Grammys for anything more than to make fun of it on this website, what’s your excuse? You really want to see who wins “Best World Music Album” or “Best Album Notes” because last years competition was too close?! Go to hell.

Oh, and fuck you 50 Cent.

Follow me on twitter, I’ll be live tweeting the Grammys whenever the hell they are.