Everyone Needs To Chill Out About Blue Ivy, It’s Just A Baby.

If you’re like me (which you’re not because I am worlds better than you ever could aspire to be) you’re already getting tired of hearing about the baby that Beyonce probably didn’t even have, Blue Ivy. This bullshit is all over the news and I’m tired of hearing about it. The most Beyonce has contributed to the world is “All the Single Ladies”, and that song makes me want to vomit out of my eyes when I hear it.

I don’t care that Blue Ivy’s crib is worth 3,500 dollars. I don’t care that it is taking baths in a 5,200 dollar diamond studded baby tub. I don’t care that Blue Ivy is now the youngest person to top the charts in a song (Jay-Z just “featured” her in some terrible song he recently released). And I really don’t care that they didn’t let other parents see their own children in a hospital. Thanks to every news outlet possible shoving this bullshit down my throat I know more about Blue’s life than I know about some of the people in my own family, which is disgusting on so many different levels.

My biggest wish (next to Tebow losing his leg in a drunk driving accident, and 50 Cent fallin off the face of the earth) is for this kid to HATE music. How great would it be if two of the biggest musical stars of our generation had a kid who despised everything about it. I hope she likes to paint, play football, and do porn.

It’s times like these when I can really sit back and listen to one of the greatest mainstream hip-hop burns I have heard, “Ether” by Nas and truly appreciate his hate: