Justin Bieber & Big Sean’s New Dubstep Song Is A Musical Abortion

You know what would be a good idea? If we combined an over-amped artist with a genre of music everyone seems to be doing even if they aren’t good at it. I’m assuming this is the thought process that went on right before Justin Bieber walked through the door of ground zero recording studio.

The Biebs has recently released a dubstep song that is just…just God awful. I mean, I thought music bottomed out with K-Pop, Lupe Fiasco live, Lana Del Rey, I don’t know, just read some of my older articles, I’m generally upset.

I have pretty good reason to be upset with this song too. It’s really bad. And the lyrics are so unbelievably gay. Here’s the chorus:

As long as you love me
We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke
As long as you love me
I’ll be your platinum, I’ll be your silver, I’ll be your gold
As long as you love, love, love, love me
As long as you love, love, love, love me

Maybe I’m just being a dick, but these are some pretty bold statements coming from a punk with a net worth of over 112,000,000 dollars.

Then out of nowhere, guess who shows up. Big Sean? What are you doing in this train wreck of a song?! Here is an excerpt from Big Sean’s verse, with my level-headed comments in parentheses:

I don’t know if this makes sense, but you’re my hallelujah (It doesn’t..)
Give me a time and place, and I’ll rendezvous, and I’ll fly you to it,
I’ll beat you there (THIS IS A POOR CHOICE OF WORDS)
Girl you know I got you
Us, trust… (What the fuck is “Us Trust?”)
A couple of things I can’t spell without you (What?)
Now we are on top of the world, ’cause that’s just how we do (Oh, now I see, he needed something to rhyme with “do”)
Used to tell me sky’s the limit, now the sky’s our point of view
Man now we stepping out like woah (Stepping out like “woah”, poetry… pure poetry)

I can imagine he put as much effort into this verse as Usher put into the chorus of the song “Yeah.” I like to imagine he wrote that song in a huge, red, velvet chair with a huge plume as he happily said to himself “Yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…….yeah.

In summation, this is an abortion.

Speaking of God awful music, there is a website I need the world to see ASAP. Whitepeoplerappingpoorly.tumblr.com is probably the greatest website of all time. It has everything: pathetic white people, bad production value, bad music videos, just a real no talent website. So, hopefully The Biebs’s song will be on here soon.

If you have #bieberfever add me on Twitter.