If you don’t know what K-pop is, you’re a normal person, and if you’re reading this and pretending like you have any idea what I’m talking about, then you also must know the third track of Kobe Bryant’s unreleased C.D. and the name of all 5 (that’s right FIVE) of Shaquille O’Neal’s terrible albums. The correct answer is, you don’t know.
This odd genre is pop music from South Korea, and let me tell you, it’s a complete mess. I would know since I spent a year living there, and every time any K-pop came on, I got so livid I was forced to sucker punch the five nearest Korean babies I saw. Despite the dozens of huge groups there, the one I am going to be writing about is named 2NE1 (pronounced ‘to anyone’).
This genre is the perfect example I can give you as to the problems of record executives that heavily invest money in a group of good looking girls and making them a success through non-stop radio play, great publicity agents, surgery and make-up. Don’t believe me? Here’s 2NE1 with makeup:
Ugh, I know, gross. They drop from 9.5s to 3s fast!
The music is stupid (mostly because 90% isn’t in English) but catchy for some odd reason. One of their biggest songs is “I Don’t Care“, but my favorite has to be “Go Away”. Not even because of the music, but the overall insanity of the music video. Here’s the link:
Fast forward to three minutes in and enjoy the domestic violence!
Here’s my question, how does Rhianna’s music video about her doing pills and having sex with a Chris Brown-esque counterpart get banned in Europe, but this video about a man blatantly beating the shit out of a woman not get even questioned? I’ll tell you why, because Korean people are insane. Think I’m being racist or ridiculous? How long have you lived in South Korea? That’s what I thought.
That’s not even the best part. At the end of the video, the guy (who mercilessly beat her earlier) rams his car into hers on a racetrack, and it EXPLODES!!!!! She dies! One of the main singers completely engulfs in flames while she’s in her car. That’s how it ends. What a joke.
Around now you must be asking yourself, “Why the hell is this guy writing about this?”
Remember when Will.i.am. made that God-awful song about something stupid with Niki Minaj? The background writing is in Korean. Why did he do this? Will.i.am wants to assist 2NE1 become international stars, and it’s no rumor anymore that he is helping them record their new album, and they might even go on tour with the Black Eyed Peas soon. That’s right. Your ears might be getting raped, on a regular basis, by the Korean language. My advice is to burn any record stores that ever sell this awful music, or, if you have the money, buy out any stadiums where they are playing and burn those tickets so nobody will have to sit through a never ending show of women who babble nonsense.