Happy 4/20! Download 6 Songs That Don’t Suck Getting High To

1) Télépopmusik – “Breathe”

This song was still pretty big among a few foreigners when I moved to South Korea for a bit. We used to try to get baked off terrible ganja we got from a mule from Zimbabwe. He got busted though and is probably doing some life sentence in the world’s worst prison in either the Middle East or Africa. For a short period of time though, this was what we listened to.

R.I.P. Chinouyazue!

2) Pogo – “Alice”

I’m a dirty, lowlife, terrible hippie and I know it. Once you say those words out loud you can truly enjoy this remix of one of the only movies Disney made specifically for burnt out druggies. This remix just proves that when your parents watched it with you when you were four, there’s a 96% chance they were out of this world high on LSD because you had bad parents.

3) Possum Posse – “Guy On A Buffalo”

Possum Posse struck gold with this one. I hope this becomes a real television show because I would absolutely tune in every week to see how long they could possibly keep this going.

4) Notorious B.I.G., Miley Cirus – Party and Bullshit in the U.S.A.

99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of anything Miley Cirus does makes me violently ill. I mean puke and shit everywhere ill. This is the one song I can listen to her and not want to crash my car into a brick wall to stop her terrible nasally voice from raping my ears any longer.

You can only collide Notorious with Miley and the song still be awesome as shit. I can’t think of any other rapper that could have a song with her be this good completely by coincidence. B.I.G. has been dead for over a decade and he’s still completely destroying tracks that were supposed to be for 9-year-old girls.

5) Anya Marina – “Whatever You Like”

Apparently only a few million people have listened to this song, which I think is a little low. I like it when white people completely destroy a hip-hop song. It’s funny. When you slow down most hip-hop/rap/R&B songs like this you hear all the bullshit rappers say to just fill bars. Turning a stupid money, clothes, and hoes song into a sensual acoustic one sung by a hot blonde white girl definitely draws you in.

6) Blackalicious – “Alphabet Aerobics”

If you’ve never listened to this song, prepare to have your mind blown. It’s proof that there still is some creativity in hip-hop. I assure you though, it’s a false glimmer of hope.

Well, that’s it. Follow me on Twitter so you can see what other celebrities will block me (Tebow, check). I’ll see you in hell!

REPRINTED: 12/19/11