The World Laughs As 50 Cent Signs “DJ” Pauly D To His Label

I love it when I’m right. Remember how in a recent post I destroyed 50 Cent and his joke of a musical career? If you don’t, I’ll sum it up for you. 50 Cent is a failure and he’s quickly circling the drain. Well, according to 50’s twitter posts he signed someone new to his G-Note record label (that has got to be the stupidest name for anything, ever). If you guessed that it was a youthful, energetic, interesting, intelligent, talented artist, whew boy you couldn’t be anymore incorrect!

The new “artist” on the label is none other than “DJ” Pauly D. What exactly he’ll be doing I don’t really understand. If it involves getting violently drunk, acting like an ape, contracting VD, and being an ass he’s the man for the job! Try and decipher what exactly he will contribute to 50 Cent’s prestigious label:

I’m focusing on music. That’s my passion. I’m working with 50 Cent now. I’m gonna do an album with him. It’s going to be a little bit of everything. It’s almost like DJ Khaled and kind of David Guetta but my own DJ Pauly D style.

What the fuck does this even mean? Does he know he’s supposed to talk about what he’s going to be doing for 50’s label, not just rambling on and on? He sounds like a drunk 4 year old with Down Syndrome. Is he doing comedy like his boy The Situation?

And here’s more bad news. “DJ” Pauly D got his own spin off reality T.V. show, and the whole premise is him going around America and being a “DJ.” And before you sigh an exasperated breathe of frustrated air, remember, this is all your fault. We made this guy famous and this is how we’re going to pay for it. The Jersey Shore freaks are spreading their empires like the herpes I’m sure all of them have. Snooki is a perfect example. She has an app, two books, perfume, and gets payed up to 10,000 dollars for making an appearance at a party/club. These people shouldn’t be making money off being drunken animals, they should be dragged out in the street and shot.

Personally, I’m glad this happened. It’s time we start paying for the stupid shit we’ve been doing wrong America. We start watching these reality shows as a joke, and then the next thing we know we can’t escape any of these freaks. The Real World has 26 seasons. How is that even possible when shows like Arrested Development, Community (almost), and Stella get cancelled? We’re doing this, and we have to take responsibility for it.

However, writing this article did give me great pleasure. I have made fun of both of these people in the last two weeks, and I got to rub how terrible they are for a second time, right in their smug, stupid faces. Just die already.

Follow me on twitter, and I will consider responding to your stupid comments.