Xzibit Says Planking Is Racist To Raise Awareness For His New Album

Xzibit is already an easy target because he’s more famous for his involvement in Pimp My Ride than his music career ever has been or ever will be. There are rappers who have one hit. They get that 15 minutes and never go away because they try to reach that glory again for the rest of their life. As a result they slip and slide down and down and down until they’re made fun of on music sites like this one. On the other hand, there are “rappers” who never have one hit or their 15 minutes, but through some preposterous way, they get famous (without music) and then they try to push their career forward when it’s just a bunch of garbage. Still, they try and try and waste everybody’s time. In the end, they still get made fun of on music websites like this one.

Xzibit has flown pretty far under the radar since Pimp My Ride got cancelled in 2007, but he’s trying to raise awareness that he isn’t dead since his next studio album Napalm comes out next year. To help them get back in headlines when a movie or album is coming out most people start a charity, collaborate with other famous rappers, release singles, make a sex tape, or publicize an international tragedy. But oh boy, did Xzibit top that!

Xzibit has publicly announced that planking is racist. For those of you who don’t know what planking is, it’s when you lay down straight in various places. In summation, it’s stupid. But how exactly is it racist? I’ll let Xzibit’s tweets clear that up:

Planking is THE dumbest shit ever… #Planking was a way to transport slaves on ships during the slave trade, its not funny. Educate.

“Don’t get it twisted, I care less where your dumb asses lay face down and take pictures of the shit, I’m just telling you where it came from.”

Lying down only started on slave ships? People used to take pictures with their camera phones over 150 years ago? White, Hispanic, and Asain people were all being taken out of Africa? You’re right Xzibit (you spelled your name wrong by the way), I need to educate myself.

Out of anything serious you could have talked about Xzibit, you chose this? I knew you were insane, untalented, and stupid, but you really impressed me here. I can’t blame this failure on him though. His past behavior shows obvious signs of being borderline mentally retarded. He has tried to file for bankruptcy twice in the past 2.5 years, is behind almost 1,000,000 dollars in federal taxes, in Europe got his license revoked because he didn’t understand the difference between kilometers and miles, hasn’t had an album in over 5 years, and now receives less than 70,000 dollars annually. Oh wait, I can blame all that on him (because he’s a self inflicted failure)!

He’s so bad. Watch this music video and have an anurism like me:

…Contemplate, demonstrate
Mind over mayhem, no mistakes
Lift some weights, eat some steaks
But you don’t really want that face to face
But let’s relax, check your traps…

This is the entire song! It’s just random words nonsensically thrown together, and not even in a clever way. And this whole shitstorm hes creating is destroying his popularity. One website has comments such as:

“Get over yourself Xzibit, no one cares what you think.”
“So, what is the correlation?”
“lighten up loser”

Looks like this backfired Xzibit. You and 50 should team up and circle the drain together so I can just write about how terrible both of you are simultaneously.

Tweet me and I’ll even consider talking to you.