Is Jimi Hendrix The Greatest Guitarist Ever Or Is Rolling Stone Wrong Again?

Before this post even gets into the first paragraph I need to make something VERY clear. I’m a huge Jimi Hendrix fan. That man lived, breathed, and shat rock-and-roll ever since he picked up a guitar and switched the strings so he could play left handed and proceded to destroy 99.99999999% of people who had, or ever will play a guitar. His rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Woodstock will go down in history as the most badass rendition of the most stupid, played out song in history. If you find it insensitive that I think the original “Star-Spangled Banner” is stupid I’ll quote Daniel Tosh, “do you have it on your iPod?”

That being said, despite what Rolling Stone says about Hendrix being the greatest guitarist of all time, I know that he is not. He definitely innovated the use of the instrument and re-claimed a genre that was stolen from black people (Elvis, that thieving asshole) and showed that even when black people were second rate citizens, they could still produce amazing music. He was a pioneer, an innovator, but not the best.

Rock-and-roll sucks now, there’s no question about that, and it’s never coming back. In a music world where clean and sober is the new passing out on stage and promoting the use of LSD and marijuana, we’ve lost an integral part of it’s influence. Insanity, recklessness, self-destruction, mind expansion, all of those factors are gone forever, because rehab facilities are like vacations now, and drugs aren’t ‘in.’ And you who think I’m wrong, what’s your favorite Beatles song? Is it really “I Want to Hold your Hand” or some of that other bubblegum bullshit they were spitting out before they went to India, got arrested, and recreationally did drugs with everybody everywhere? (ed note: or before Paul McCartney died) That’s what I thought. I can’t wait until The Jonas Brothers go down that road, and become the icons of our generation.

There are still guitarists alive more talented than Hendrix ever was, possibly because he died the way every guitarist should. Twenty-seven and choking on his own vomit. Would you expect any less from a guy who put acid in his headband, so when he sweat he would start tripping balls on stage? Still, he died over 40 years ago in his prime, do you really think in that time, nobody would have surpassed him?

Disagree with me? Watch “Ocean” by John Butler Trio. As the top comment on Youtube says, “people who disliked this, please buy a heart on eBay”:

Shit, John Butler isn’t even the greatest guitarist! I think hands down, the best string player alive is Béla Fleck, and if you were thinking about even attempting to argue with me not knowing either of these artists, you’re just as dumb as I thought you were:

If you watched either of these two videos, and you still don’t think that they’re better musicians than Hendrix, then you don’t know anything about playing guitar. It’s not subjective, like ‘who is the better band’ or ‘what genre is the most interesing’ anymore, it’s just a technical fact.

And for all the hippies who love him, because he was against war, and was only for peace and love, prepare to be wrong. Hendrix was caught stealing cars and was given the choice between jail time or the army, and he chose the army. Even though he wasn’t a great soldier, he would later say he was only discharged from the army because of an ankle injury. Nice and peaceful guy. Not like any of that actually matters because if you were still saying he is the best before that, you were still an idiot.

Hendrix will always be a legend, but think next time you make such bold statements Rolling Stone.

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